Monkey Business ， 描述： by Sammy the Chatting Chimp

kingjames

"After leaving the circus to make a better life for himself, Sammy theChatting Chimp started his own exotic pet business and made a fortune.Now he wants to share the many facts and secrets he's learned, not onlyabout business, but life in general."

Dear Mr. Chimp: This may seem a little politicallyincorrect, but there are a lot of homeless people in this city. I’mwondering if there are any statistics about how much money panhandlersactually make?  
--David Roberts, San Diego, Calif.

Dear David: One recent study indicated thatpanhandlers earn anywhere from a few dollars a day on the low end totwenty — the average — to roughly three hundred dollars a day. The mostsuccessful are those who are (or who pose as) war veterans. Panhandlerswho own pets also elicit more pity. Women tend to receive the mostcharity, especially if they have children. (In some countries whereI’ve traveled, parents actually have the limbs of their children brokenso they will appear more pathetic!) The least effective methods arethose in which the homeless approach motorists who are stopped at alight. Time is short and windows are often closed. Regardless, I'vealways marveled at peoples' generosity toward those less fortunate.This was quite a revelation to me. In the wild, weakened animals aren'tfed — they’re eaten.

Dear Mr. Chimp: I'm from England and just got my green card to live in the United States. I'm wondering, why are they called 'green cards?'
--Catherine Smith, Brooklyn, N.Y.

Dear Catherine: The earlier form of the green card wassimply the I-151, or Alien Registration Receipt Card, which was firstused in 1940 as part of the Alien Registration Act. All foreigncitizens had to register with the government and could do so at thepost office. These certificates were printed on white paper. When WorldWar II ended, a large number of immigrants arrived in the United Statesand were split into different categories such as workers, students,teachers, etc, each getting a permit showing their status. Anyone whoreceived permanent residence in the United States got a green receipt,which became known as a ‘green card.’ This was replaced by the I-551 in1977, which was made from paper of all colors except green. However,the forms were still referred to as green cards. The closest thing Ihad to a green card in the jungle were leaves, which were moreimportant than work permits. As food and shelter, they were life permits!

shineboy09

Dear Catherine: The earlier form of the green card wassimply the I-151, or Alien Registration Receipt Card, which was firstused in 1940 as part of the Alien Registration Act. All foreigncitizens had to register with the government and could do so at thepost office. These certificates were printed on white paper. When WorldWar II ended, a large number of immigrants arrived in the United Statesand were split into different categories such as workers, students,teachers, etc, each getting a permit showing their status. Anyone whoreceived permanent residence in the United States got a green receipt,which became known as a ‘green card.’ This was replaced by the I-551 in1977, which was made from paper of all colors except green. However,the forms were still referred to as green cards. The closest thing Ihad to a green card in the jungle were leaves, which were moreimportant than work permits. As food and shelter, they were life permits!

funny joke??
i don't get it...
after i read it... it's a new lesson to learn??

kingjames

sorry, wrong one
:onion14: